I posted a blog about 2 years ago talking about my struggles of life after college, the never ending interviews, phone calls, and the uncertainty of what direction to steer my life. So here I am, 2 years later, still in the same boat. Sure, I can admit things are better now than they were then. I have held a job in the same industry for 2 years now, I live on my own and am able to make ends meet, and feel like an independent woman. But am I any closer to knowing what I am really doing with my life? Hell no.
I will be 26 years old next month and I feel like I am hitting a rather interesting age. It's like I'm stuck in a awkward phase in between young adult and just..adult. It's frightening because I know I am reaching an age where I should no longer be living like a college student, eating top ramen every week and scraping the couch for change in order to put gas in my tank. I know I am in this boat with many people my age and older, and our economy is still not in the best shape. But money aside, what about the fact that I am still working a job that any idiot could get, even without my college degree? What about the fact that I have absolutely NO idea what I want to do? People tell me that even in their 40's they still don't know what they want to be when they grow up. But it seems that these people, at the very least, know what they'd love to do if they could. What they're truly passionate about.
How is it that I don't know what I am passionate about? People ask me all the time what I truly love to do and the fact that I cannot really come up with an answer scares me. Yes, there are things I enjoy in life, but nothing that stands out. This is where my fears set in. I know I am still young. I am, in no way, thinking I am old enough to have it all figured out. But at least an idea would be nice. I love my job, don't get me wrong, but it's starting to become so repetitive and not fulfilling at all. Not to mention I know I am capable of so much more. We all have to start somewhere to move up the ladder..but the question is, move up where? I don't even think I like the hospitality industry anymore. I have a few years of it under my belt now and the idea of staring over in another industry sucks. Obviousy 2-3 years of experience is nothing in the grand scheme of my life, but I just don't know what direction to go and I feel stuck. I am tired of being paid like a high school student, barely able to pay my bills every month, not having any idea of what I am passionate about, and seeing no end in site.
I'm sure we all have felt this way at one point in our lives, but sometimes it just hits me hard to think that in 4 years I will be 30 and I feel like I am still stuck in the same mindset as I was when I was 18. Some say your 20s are the best years of your life...I sure hope they are wrong. I am just hoping and praying that one day it will just hit me, or something will come up and I will just know that a better and more rewarding opportunity is in my hands.
