So today has been kind of a emotional roller coaster. I have experienced every single emotion in the book today, it's been kinda strange. I was really angry when I woke up because I just couldn't seem to sleep for the life of me and my cat was irritating me. Then I was really happy because after months of being ignored by a friend, I finally got in contact with him and kind of feel like I have closure now. The happiness only lasted for about 2 minutes, which then quickly turned to sadness because I learned the reasons as to why he stopped talking to me..and I felt like an asshole for not even realizing that I was hurting him. Cool. But at least we are civil now...it's just a bummer that I will probably never get to talk to him again. but I guess that happens sometimes..It's just really nice to have closure.
I feel relieved because it adds peace to my life, because even though I rarely ever have enemies, I really hate having pent up anger towards anyone. It's something that carries with me forever and I notice that I always have dreams about the person I have pent up anger with. It's like I have so much I want to say to that person and I dream about being able to finally say it..and it feels great. But then i wake up and realize it was a dream and I go back to being angry. it's a vicious cycle. Like I said, there is really only one or two people in my life I have this issue with, but I just want to let it go. They are not worth my time and I would much rather dream about more exhilarating things. I know for damn sure they don't dream about me or even think about me, so why must I hold on to it? Why must I let myself care about someone who doesn't care about me? Rule in life: Never make someone a priority, who only makes you an option.
Anyways, so i was kinda bummed out all day because of that situation, and then I looked at my bank account and about broke down into tears because my money is disappearing so fast and it's all gone to bills. It's not like I've been irresponsible and bought myself all kinds of goodies, so at least I can say that. Even though I have a job now, it's not going to be very many hours. Like I said in a previous entry, my dad says I need to pay all of my bills from now on. That's AT LEAST 600 a month (thats IF i only eat like..once a day)...So after doing the math of how many hours I will be getting a week, I started having a panic attack basically when I realized there is no effing way I will be able to do this while I am going to school full time. I would have to get a 2nd job. So I called my mom in desperation and thank god she offered to loan me 200 dollars every month until summer to at least help with my rent portion of the bills. So between my moms money and my job, I *might* be able to make enough. And I tell ya, I couldn't be happier. She is amazing and a lot more understanding than my father. I know he is trying to teach me responsibility, and once I graduate college and get a job, I don't believe they ever have any obligation to help me pay my bills. but right now I need them, and I am so thankful for my mom for doing this. She even said she'd send me an extra 100 next month because the only pair of jeans I have are ripping and I can't even afford pants.
So anyway, now I am very relieved, but still sad about this days previous events. and bummed that I'm still sick and this weekend has been a complete bore. Maybe I'm just PMSing haha..but goodnesss...way too much emotion going on right about now. I'd say overall I am doing pretty good now knowing that I can pay my bills. I even signed up for about 5 websites that pay you to take surveys haha. I'm gonna find a way to make it by. :) If anyone has any other tips on making little bits of money here and there on the internet..let me know. every cent counts!
Aww Sarah, my Sarah. No need to cry or fuss over things like this. I have a solution.
ReplyDeleteSolution: All you have to do is dream about me and you will no longer be angry and feel joy. As for the money situation, It will all work itself out in time, you're parents want to see you succeed, they will make it hard, but not too hard that you wont be able to accomplish your goals. Keep your head up high girl, I know its hard. You have many characteristics other people would kill to have, and for that I know you will make it out alive, your a survivor. Now, Smile. I know you are smiling a lil bit, but I want a full on smile. I love you babe, dont forget you can always talk with me if you're having a bad day.
lol.. well I can't say I don't remember being in those shoes! Definitely didn't eat any meat b/c that was the most expensive thing. I did a lot of noodle salads & noodles with pesto. You could always try finding a local church that is does the Angel Food Ministries (they usually do it once a month but it's a big box of food) I know of several people around here that do it. Check it out online. http://www.angelfoodministries.com/hosts.asp Find out where one is at. I'd also shop at any discount food place you can-- here we have an "Aldi's" I don't shop there, but once upon a time I did.
ReplyDeleteSubstitute beans for meat. Beans still have a filling effect and provide protein like meat does. If your going to make something I"d make it in bulk and spread it out for several meals-- like soups. Try doing a Potato and ham chowder. Buy a thing of potatoes, a cream of mushroom soup, a ham steak, milk-- throw it all together (well peel the potatoes and cut them up, cut the ham up too). It'll give you many meals for a cheap price tag. Protein and carbs = energy.
Okay sooooooooo other ways to make money. Do you really want to know? In college-- I was a nude art model. It paid $11/hr. You had to wear your panties if it was at a college you were attending, but you did go topless. It'd be for like 3-4 hrs a few days a week. It provided great income for me. lol. It doesn't matter what you look like either, that's not the point. I actually had 3 friends in that class.. but they loved that thin stick little me with no boobs was modeling compared to the old people they were usually getting with their boobs hanging to their belly buttons and hair growing out of their armpits.
Crap.. I'm forgetting something online too.. you can set up your own hours and your pretty much an online answer giver--- shoot I can't remember it. A few of the girls on FF do it, I'll have to ask them.
-Cat
I totally feel your pains, I'm always looking for other ways to make extra money online. Right now I'm learning about clickbank.com
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